This morning I got to hang out with some amazing local Goondiwindi business owners. We were all attending a business breakfast around the theme of Resilience.

I chose to speak to them about the mental load.

What mental load means to me

To me, mental load is the weight of thought that sits behind everything I do.

The more organised I get, the more it reduces and fades into the background.

Mental load is the organising, list making, planning that you do to manage your life. Basically “all of the things”.

Statistically, for men it’s career and work driven, for women it’s family and homemaking.  In my opinion this is last century thinking, but when I talk to my friends & colleagues it stacks up.

I remember the first time I heard the phrase “The Mental Load”.  I was in my happy place.  In the car, kids were quiet, can’t remember where we were going.  I popped on the latest episode of my favourite podcast Ladies We Need to Talk.

Mind blown!!!

I could immediately relate to Yumi Stynes who describes the mental load as “invisible, ongoing and exhausting”.

How do you even start to describe your mental load?

For me, right now, it is going a bit like this: Did our kids eat enough protein for dinner? Did I get enough protein for dinner? Should I start cooking the chicken for our family lunch tomorrow? Did I email my bookkeeper to get the BAS underway? I need to book the carpet cleaner, or should I wait until closer to Christmas? I should start to organise Christmas. I wonder if my husband has remembered our daughter has a swimming lesson at 9am today? (BTW, of course he had, why was this even on my mental load?)

Sound familiar?

Mental load is the unpaid, often unrecognised, burden that keeps everything ticking, AND it’s holding you back.

Lightening your mental load can FREE YOUR MIND.

If you know me, you know I’m not a hippy or very woo woo. 

When I say “Free your mind” I mean by having your brain spend less time thinking about “all of the things”, you will have more capacity to create, be imaginative, innovate and THINK.

Social media can be a huge weight on your mind, especially if you use it in your business.  What to post? When to post it? How to get a good graphic? Not to mention the black hole you get sucked into when you find yourself mindlessly scrolling through your feed.

In August this year I made the decision to outsource my social media to the very capable Nik Kavanagh.  Social media strategy, posting and engagement was a part of my mental load, sitting in my brain work space.  It was a tough decision because it was another cost for my business, but I am REALLY pleased I made the decision and Nik is doing an amazing job.

What I hadn’t banked on though was how much delegating this work would free up my brain.  In August alone I had some breakthroughs in productising my intellectual property, that I had been working towards for over 12 months. After freeing up my mental load, I had the actual products in my hot little hands within 3 months.

I also had the space to get more strategic and creative on the niche my business services and where my customers come from.  This has made my business more resilient. Today I can proudly say that I help people with their wills in Qld, NSW & Vic. 

I’ve still got a long way to go in building my business. By being able to work with customers outside my geographic area I have reduced the impact that the drought and local economy has on my business.

By lessening your mental load you can open yourself up to:

• working on the right things, not the nice things

• strategic thinking & planning

• better sleep

• better long-term health

• more creativity and innovation

• a more resilient and strategic business

So let’s get practical about what you can do.

Stop being the gate keeper.  If you delegate something, trust that person to get it done.

Ask for help. It’s tough but we all need to get better at this. Who doesn’t love helping another human when asked?

Take a break.  Just stop.  Talk to you partner or spouse & take a mental load holiday.  What can you do less often?

Reduce your expectations.  Speaking from experience, does it really matter how the towels and sheets are stacked in the laundry cupboard, or is it good enough they are clean, dry and in there. 

Don’t judge. If you have a friend or workmate who does things a bit differently … who cares. Start accepting and shifting the norms about family and household work.

Make a pledge.  I Nicky Grummitt pledge to no longer re-organise the dishwasher.

For more information here are some awesome resources on the mental load and what you can do about yours.

Ladies we need to talk – Time to name (and shame) the mental load

ABC news – The mental load and what to do about it

Business chicks – Mental load

4Ds – Delete, delegate, defer & do