I spent this morning in the car with Leigh Sales and Annabel Crabb, my new besties. For an hour and a half they regaled me with interesting stories, introduced me to interesting people and entertained me with funny stories and music. It was one of those really great catch ups with good friends that leaves you with a full cup. There were some laughs, sharing of what’s going on in everyone’s life and a deep sense of connection.

Obviously, I wasn’t speaking with Sales and Crabb in person (I’m hoping to manifest this one day) but listening to their podcast Chat 10 Looks 3. Which I feel like I’ve finally figured out what that means – I’m going with excellent 10/10 chat and not needing to dress up 3/10.

Nope, just googled it. Turns out it’s a line out of a classical musical “A Chorus Line” where a dancer sees her score card, dance 10/10, looks 3/10. Clearly why I’ve never heard of it, given that my musical experiences are limited to Mary Poppins with family and Hamilton with friends, both earlier this year.

It got me thinking. Thinking in that deep, uninterrupted way that only seems to happen when you are in the car (without awake children), in the shower or gardening.

What has contributed to the significant number of podcasts and other media that simply record the conversation between 2 or more people?

Sales and Crabb not only record a podcast, but also “perform” these conversations in public to large live audiences with a decent ticket price, while simultaneously livestreaming the conversation for anyone who couldn’t make it in person. Only to then release the live conversation recording later as a free podcast. Seems people want to be physically in the room with Sales and Crabb. I get that. I want to be in that room too.

Is it that as a society we are losing the skill or opportunity to have these conversations in our own lives?

For me, it doesn’t happen as often as I would like, but I have a few friends where I think we achieve this chat 10 looks 3 every fortnight or 3 weeks. It’s usually during a walk, over a cup of tea or glass of wine. [BTW I am referring to myself with the looks 3. Some of my friends are the most well put-together, stylish people I know. They must see something else in me. I have an incredibly low care factor for dressing up when I’m extremely comfortable with someone. If I turn up on your doorstep looking like a 1990s hobo then you know you are in the inner sanctum.] I digress.

I feel like I’m still semi-regularly having these really good, soul nourishing conversations with my friends and work mates. So maybe it’s not that we are losing the art of good conversation. Maybe it’s the lack of frequency of good convos in our lives that makes us seek this kind of conversational entertainment out?

That would make a lot of sense for my demographic. Women in our 30s and 40s who are working hard, raising small humans who demand a great deal of our attention and maintaining the relationships in our lives with our spouses, families and friends.

There are not that many opportunities for uninterrupted, deeply connecting conversations. Most of my conversations during a week are snatched opportunistically while I pick up a coffee, simultaneously try to watch our toddler and netballer on the court, in the grocery store, or for 5 minutes at school pickup.

I also wondered whether it’s the voyeur factor that drives us to conversational podcasts? I love feeling like I’m in the room with Sales and Crabb. Just having a chinwag with these famous women, that I admire. I love knowing what they are thinking about different topics. I like hearing what they are watching, reading and generally spending their spare time doing. I find them both incredibly intelligent, so while I don’t always agree with their opinions, I feel like being part of their flock is lifting my game and thinking too.

Shows that I listen to regularly that fit this conversational model – a show where 2 or more people have a conversation of a general nature – rather than an interview or discussion about a specific topic – include:

Chat 10 Looks 3 with Leigh Sales & Annabel Crabb

Bang On with Myf Warhurst & Susanna (Zan) Rowe

Healthy-ish with Felicity Harley & Ashleigh Austen (Friday’s episodes only)

Spreading the Good Stuff with Katrina, Leonie & Christy

The Lise & Sarah Show with Lise Carlaw & Sarah Wills

Mamamia Out Loud with Holly Wainwright, Jessie Stephens & Mia Freedman

Wow! Now I’ve been through and made a list, there are quite a lot of them. There is definitely a theme of women slightly older than me, who I admire and find interesting. Some I listen to so I feel informed about current newsworthy and conversational topics, some to be challenged,
some purely for entertainment.

It’s interesting to also see the rise of popular TV shows like Gogglebox that has the same strong themes of being privy to a conversation between people, without actively engaging in the conversation yourself, like a fly on the wall. Eavesdropping, but with consent. When I first saw Gogglebox advertised, I thought “what rubbish”. I don’t want to watch a TV show about people watching TV shows. But it’s quite entertaining. It’s interesting seeing how other people react to things you have watched too. It helps that they are from very different demographic groups and pretty funny.

A proactive thought that popped up during the Chat 10 Looks 3 live show recording was how intentional Sales and Crabb’s watching seemed to be. Maybe Sales a bit more than Crabb. It made me want to be more intentional with my watching, rather than just throwing up the first thing I saw to tune my brain out a bit. Still entertaining but not just the first thing we saw.

As always, I’m extremely interested to hear what you think. Drop me a line.